redbox

I hate redbox. You know, those dumb machines that dispense dvd's for $1 rentals? I hate them. McDonald's put them all over America. Giving obese people the opportunity to let those Big Macs settle in their guts after a movie or two. Well now they are popping up everywhere: Gas stations, grocery stores, street corners. I hate them. There is always a line of folks waiting to pick up a friggin movie. It's video cocaine. And its a hassle because you have to bring the dvd back or it will leech $1 from your account. Even if you're just trying to return a dvd, you still have to wait behind a line an illiterate idiots who can't decide if they want to rent Dora the Explorer or another Adam Sandler film. 

At a future date, and an undisclosed time, a secret signal will be sent throughout America that will activate each redbox to rise up and kill everyone that ever rented a dvd. Redbox robots will travel back in time to rewrite history and construct a new future. 

That's why I hate redbox.