Thursday, December 8, 2005

small thought #3

By the time you get enough paper towel from the automatic paper towel dispenser in a public restroom, not only will your hands be dry enough from waving them in front of that stupid little red sensor, but you will also look like a complete idiot in the process. The same thing goes when you try to wash your hands only to hold them in the sink basin with nothing happening. I think I figured out why those things were invented. Check for secret cameras, because someone is watching you wave like an idiot in front of those things.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

stop sign

Some things weren't meant to be fun. Being pulled over in front of everyone in a crowded neighborhood is one of those things. Police officers around here really have nothing better to do, because the crime rate is comparably lower than the national average. Justifying speeding in a residential area is traffic suicide, especially when your speedometer doesn't work. So I'm used to hearing the phrase "I was going to give you a warning, but since you were going 15 mph over the limit there is little I can do." then the officer goes to his car for twenty minutes to fill out papers. While he's in the car any number of friends, work associates, and family members that have never dropped by inevitably will. The fun doesn't stop there. In order to preserve a clean driving record you must be subjected to what is known as traffic school...

"it might not be worth it" I thought, when I pulled into the police station. The directions were hard to read and I wasn't sure what I was up against. When I try to explain myself to the woman behind the desk, she looks at me and asks if I had received the other paper from the other courthouse in another building on the the other side of town. Nope guess not.

I always get caught speeding when I'm pissed at something. In this case, the Department of Motor Vehicles. They had messed up the name on the title to my truck and I was gearing up for battle when I saw flashing lights in my rearview. I didn't know where to pull over so I stopped in front of the exit to the DMV. No one could get out of the parking lot. Cars began to pile up as the officer went through the usual motions. I didn't care. It was not the best day ever.

at the court house I had a hard time finding a place to park. When I tried to go through the metal detector at the door, the officer told me I had to take my cell phone back to my car because it was capable of taking pictures of the holiest of holies in that particular building. Went back, took the elevator up and saw a room of miserable people. After waiting and waiting I was ushered into a room where this lady was typing furiously on a computer. After looking me up and down a few times she told me I was able to purchase the piece of paper that granted me the right to go back to the police station and pay even more money to the state. And I always thought that traffic school was the easier alternative.

to be continued...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


The following is a list of songs that will be included in the soundtrack to the movie of my life:

1. "Don't stop Believing" by Journey
2. "Pictures of You" by the Cure
3. "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John
4. "Movin' Out, (Anthony's Song)" by Billy Joel
5. "Just What I Needed" by the Cars
6. "Don't look Back in Anger" by Oasis
7. "Just" by Radiohead
8. "Get Back" by The Beatles
9. "Mr. Blue Sky" by ELO
10. "Bloody Well Right" by Supertramp

These are a few of the songs that will be included. I wanted an older rock sound for this film because it's my life and I can make the movie how ever the freak I want to.

Go out and listen to them.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

this just in

Sometimes I think that people don't realize how stupid they look on television. Everything you see that reporter on location at the scene of an accident or a sporting event, there is always that dufus in the background flashing gang signs or making a strange face. Some people believe that when you turn a video camera on it makes someone a different ugly person. I don't know why.

I think that the most blatant misuse of televised stupidity comes from talk shows and The Price is Right. I don't know if comparing Jerry Springer to Bob Barker is even possible, but the people they deal with would qualify them as referees of a different drum. If winning a car means you can run around a sound stage screaming and waving your arms, be my guest. If your man is sleeping with other men to get money for drugs, you can hit him with a chair. Its ok. Television lets you do this. There is an overwhelming desire to see this type of behavior on television. The Nielson ratings prove this. I don't condone this behavior, but it's fun to watch.

the next time I'm on TV I'm going to lift up my shirt and make ugly faces. Because I can.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

small thought # 2

There are many ways to write a song. You can make the music first and write the lyrics. You can write the lyrics and find a theme and the song evolves around that idea. Improvisation helps. After a few minutes it all come into effect. Computers and 4-tracks help things out a bit.

so I'm going to write some music soon. I want to finish something by the end of the year.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

unwanted noise

What happened to music? People go on and on how things that were popular twenty years ago will always come back and be the "new thing" again. 90's alternative has gone the way of the buffalo, and with a few exceptions, most of the groups that were vital in making 90's alternative what it was have disbanded. What is found on the radio these days is the ever evolving mix of what is left of rock music. People complain that music isn't "emo" enough, it isn't "indie" enough, it isn't "alternative" enough. What surprises many is that they begin to like the same music that everyone listened to ten or twenty years ago. Check the radio, the next time you hear something from Franz fedinand or The Bravery, you'll know what this is all about.

Is there a lack of originality or are people just prepared to listen to what they like from twenty years ago? Are things going to come full circle again?

Technology can be blamed. Because music is so accessible to the impressionable 13 year old, it is easier for one to get into music today. The internet itself is an endless jukebox of techno, polka, and salsa music. With a computer and a new ipod that you got for Christmas, you can fill your brain with over 13 hours of music at a time before the batteries start to die down.

Studies have shown that more younger people are experiencing hearing loss than ever before because of the constant music from personal stereos. Are we plugged in all the time? Since the popularity of the mp3 player more and more people are walking through walmart and school campuses with those white earbuds in their ears. No one is paying attention anymore.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

chances are

Thousands of people are lining up in front of gas stations to purchase their powerball tickets. The prize has risen to $340 million and many people are itching to get their hands on that mountain of cash. Many pick their own personal lucky numbers, such as family member's birthdays, to increase their chance of winning. The news has publicized this as one of the biggest lotteries around and many are sure that this is the big one. Everyone wants to win the big one. Whenever people look through their junk mail, they believe that they will be standing in their pjs on the front porch watching publishers clearing house hand over a big oversized check. Most people expect to win prizes.

Everyone has been to one of those pizza places when they were little. They were all the same basic concept: crappy pizza, crappy pitchers of rootbeer, crappy animatronic beavers moving and singing to whatever was on the radio and tons of video games to siphon more money out of your parent's wallet. Those places made bank on little kids with the prizes they gave out from games that rewarded the player with tickets. skee-ball and other games give tickets to redeem for awesome prizes ranging from little candies and plastic jewelry to the am/fm clock radio and the coveted 13 inch color television. Of course the TV cost like 15000 tickets and there was no possible way to get that many tickets. Ever. No matter how bad you cheated and ran up the skee-ball ramp to put balls in the middle hole, there was no possible way to earn 15000 tickets for the TV or the radio. I'm sure if kids could add it up it would be cheaper to go out and by the crappy TV than spend 15000 tickets worth of quarters. Leaving the place with nothing but a finger trap and a half eaten pizza was nothing compared to the kid who saved enough tickets to buy the dust covered 13 inch television.

odds of winning are 1 in a billion.

Monday, October 17, 2005

small thought #1

The mind is capable of remembering everything. Time goes by, things move on, but something inside of you can remember what it felt like ten or fifteen years ago when you had a good experience with a friend, or the first time you ate ice cream. One day you could be reading the paper or driving to work and that memory will instantly be there. All of this information is stored somewhere in the dark recesses of the mind, and often they are recalled for no reason at all.

where do these things come from, and who controls these memories? Is there a way?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


There are many inventions that have been made to aid humanity. Vehicles have made transportation much easier, and computers and telephones have revolutionized communication. Hundreds of little gadgets have made small inconveniences an afterthought, for example, my roommate has this small desk lamp that is touch sensitive, eliminating the need to reach up and twist a knob. Electric toothbrushes make brushing arguable more fun. These types of gadgets make everything a little more convenient, and more efficient.

so why do some inventions backfire? Idealisticly they are supposed to make things better. self-checkouts at grocery stores are a great example. They were designed to cut checkout times and get more people out of the store. When have they ever worked properly? Every time I try to use one the machine blares in a loud female voice," PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG!" then something starts to beep and the teenager at the command center looks at you like you don't know what you are doing. Items don't scan, and people behind you are getting restless. By the time everything is finished you could have been through the line with the cashier. They never work the same way twice. Sometimes it is better to just stick with what works, rather than screw things up with a new invention.

There isn't enough crap anyway.

Sunday, October 2, 2005

not a lemon

I purchased a small truck from my friend when he left to move to the east coast. It was a truck that he had worked on with his father, not a good looking thing by any means. The body looks ok, I mean I don't care if the hood is a different color or the fact that there is a mean pink pinstripe running the length of both sides. Eh, whatever. The inside is clean, the tape player works. Everything mechanical sort of works. I've driven it around, and haven't noticed many bugs.

I was talking to a friend of mine. He owns a 4-runner and takes meticulous care of his vehicle. I had opened the hood of my truck and was examining the guts, looking for things I could do to make it run better. First thing I saw: no coolant, and the oil filter looked melted. The oil itself was blacker than coal. So... Yeah. There was much I could do.

I decided to work on the truck by myself. I don't have a great knowledge of mechanics, but I can tell what the different parts do and what they are hooked up to. I have the complete repair manual, and with step by step instruction was able to change my oil, and tear out my radiator for flushing. And clean the insides. Not bad I thought. Maybe it'll pass safety and emissions. Who knows.

Monday, September 19, 2005

cake and icecream

When you bake something, you have to remember all of the ingredients. Leaving something out can be the critical error that turns whatever was being made into something inedible. Baking is a science, and compared to cooking, it is an exact artform. there are so many variables to choose from before the desired result can be made. Living in a higher altitude can make things tricky if certain steps are overlooked. Take a cake for example: baking may take less time, and may require more liquid to make it turn out like a cake by the time you take it out. Certain element are adjusted to create what was desired. By following a recipe anyone has a good shot of reproducing what was intended to be made. Most recipes are the product of trial and error. By the time all of the kinky are ironed out, there is a messy kitchen full of burnt, exploded, gooey, and melted cakes.

sometimes its more important to decide what the intended result will be rather than understand which steps are needed to get there.

I always forget to turn the oven off.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

paid programming

Saturday morning cartoons are an important part to a child. Getting up early, at the crack of dawn to watch thirty minutes of pure cartoon action was a weekend ritual. Cartoons were hilarious, but it always seemed like the good shows were cancelled for no reason at all. Trying to find these shows was made easy with the arrival of DVD collections, but to me it just isn't the same anymore. Watching the He-man DVD made me realize that the show was crap, there was now plot, inconsistencies and the only reason I watched it was because I fit perfectly into the age demographic.

Saturday morning cartoons have two main goals: to advertise for toys, and to make you buy as much sugar coated cereal as possible. Kids don't even notice what is happening, but they want the toys and they eat the cereal. Back in the 80's it was all about kids playing with Cold War action figures in their backyards and blowing up twigs and the enemy's hidden fortress. That would be followed by a live action shot of a kid falling down or something and a big cartoon tiger or leprechaun giving them the cereal they needed for the strength to do what they couldn't when they fell down. All the advertisement jingles were memorized and are still recognizable years later. Maybe children are being taken advantage of by toy manufacturers. Not everyone can afford to buy everything they see on television. There is always some kid that has the toy you always wanted. Jerk. Eating cereal all day will make you sick. Somehow the thought of Saturday without animated uselessness or carcinogenic corn puffs doesn't sound like Saturday to me.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005

signs of life

Fish are like furniture. Fish just sit there in their tanks and swim around. Tanks can be big or small. If they had a castle or a plant or something they could go around or in between something like that. i don't know if fish really care for scenery, but they don't do much. When you have a fish for a pet it seems like they are always on the verge of dying. You can't feed them too much or they'll die. Don't move or shake the tank too much or it'll die. If the waiter's too hot or cold it'll die. Direct sunlight will kill it. Take it out of the water and the fish is dead meat. If you don't change the water it'll die. The fish you have right now is probably dying of fish SARS or something. There are so many ways to kill a fish which makes them easier to kill than a plant. Every time I look at the tank I expect my fish to be dead, but my fish has the tendency to float near the top of the water when it wants food. I have to shake the bowl to check for vital life signs. If I lived off of food flakes or pellets I would pretend to die everyday too.

Some fish never die. No matter how often you forget to feed them, they continue to live in their murky green sewage water. Looking at the tank becomes a chore, because it is a reminder of the inevitable fish homicide you are committing. How does that make you feel as a person? That dirty filth with the dying fish is a visible symbol of yourself. The outcome doesn't look too good.

I think I'll stick with a Tamagotchi.

Saturday, September 3, 2005


I had a professor that claimed he had access ARPANET back in the 60's. The concept of connecting computers to exchange information was in its infancy, and this old collection of computers would someday become a web of billions of people today. Many take credit for its invention, but I believe, like most good ideas, that it was adopted universally as a way to make sharing information easier. I took this communications class about five years ago, back when most people had just figured out how to email each other, and chat rooms were a way for teenage boys to initiate conversations about sex. Companies began to broadcast domain names on commercials and radio. Everything is a universities had banned the use of Napster from network computers because of bandwidth constraints. It was all free music, free movies, and not enough memory to store it.

this is an endless mess of information. I can't stand the junkmail, the pop-ups and spyware that clog the internet today. Apparently my computer can't get enough of it, and I cringe as I slowly watch it melt down and die. I never open emails with attachments, for fear of nuclear holocaust on my hard drive. The problem with a good idea is that someone always has to take it and twist it apart into the unrecognizable shell of what it once was. This was once a medium to communicate, now it is used to take advantage of others.

I can't believe this is all over one's and zero's.

take the train

Public transportation has its advantages. For one, I'm not driving. With recent trends in gas prices sky rocketing, alternative modes of transportation is something that I've seriously been considering. There has got to be a way to get around paying tooth and nail for gasoline. Its hard on the starving student/slacker when everything seems to get more expensive at the same time. I think that we could all do ourselves a favor and give public transportation a chance, or at least figure out if something like that exists in the area. I'm not a major save the earth type person, I think I even litter a little bit, but riding the bus or train would cut down on the traffic and pollution that often destroys the air quality where I live. My area isn't a New York, I don't think that millions of people depend on getting on a subway everyday, but it allows for less traffic and congestion on the roadways. I think that is a good idea. I've lived in places were getting around was a hard thing to do, but people usually figure it out.

while in D.C. I took the subway around the capitol. I thought it was easy enough, though I'm told they can be quite dangerous at night. Watching all the buildings whiz by at blurring speeds was fun.

in the Dominican republic it is common to see Datsun two door taxis filled with people going from one place to another. For a few pesos you could get there and back. In Santo Domingo, I saw a family of four piled onto the back of a small 70cc Honda motocycle. Buses three times the length of a regular bus moved people around in the city. All the vehicles I rode in didn't have seat belts. Over there they have to be a little creative to get around.

hitching rides in the back of pickups and crammed in cars is the only way to travel. I always thought hitch hiking was a dangerous thing to do, but in the virgin islands, it is the only way to get around with out being totally ripped off by the taxi drivers there. You have to point your finger towards town, and after awhile someone will pick you up. I think sitting in the back of an old Honda with a sweaty old man and a German Shepard in my lap is one of the best rides I ever found.

the downside to public transportation is its often crowded, uncomfortable, smelly, and sometimes unpredictable. Getting around can be tricky if your destination is off the beaten path. I think most people are better off car pooling instead. Getting on the wrong bus or train can ruin anyone's day.
believe me, I know.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

In the kitchen

I like to cook. While I was living in the virgin islands I decided that I wanted to cook. I never really considered it before but it had been something that I had liked and was always there in the back of my mind. Eating out on tortola was usually expensive, but gave me the chance to see a little bit of everything. I loved that. People think that becoming a chef is a novel idea but then wonder what I really want to do with my life. I think its funny when I tell them that I like to cook even though I don't really have a clear picture about where I really want to take this. I could do many things. I've learned a ton in just over a year of culinary school, and I think that these are skills that can be used for a lifetime.

I've burnt food. I've ruined, deflated and exploded cakes. My muffins have turned into inedible rocks. I've scorched, blackened and burned just about everything. Getting cut or burned is no big deal anymore. I've got the scars to prove that I deserved that B+ in my kitchen courses. I think I've tried just about everything placed before me, and I've been made to eat the most horrible things that should never be eaten. But I'm not in school right now. I'm taking some time off to pursue other things, and relax from my crazy schedule. If you ask around, people will tell you that I rarely cook, even for myself. I don't know why. If I could afford it, I would eat like a king everyday, and probably weigh 300 lbs. That would be cool.

Cooking dinner for someone is the best way to impress. There are simple dishes that can be prepared ahead of time, and made to order. The best ingredient is creativity, and that is what makes this an art. Taking the time to cook something wholesome is much better than eating greasy fast food, or heating up a frozen piece of crap. Taking the time to do that is usually the problem however.

I don't have a favorite food.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

people finder

I was bored.

every now and then I have a random dream where I'm in a store or a school and I'm looking for something important and I look over my shoulder and I recognize someone I knew from a long time ago. I wake up and wonder why that person has resurfaced in my memory. Its not like I think about them. If my mind has the ability to bring up random people from five years ago- then I wonder about all the things I actually have in there.

so it was late. I had just finished something else, but couldn't go to sleep. I was playing that game where you try and find random people you used to know on the internet. has gotten so big now, you have a good chance at finding an address, a publication or just about anything on the person, if they've done anything in the past few years. Compared to five years ago, search engines have really become sophisticated. Last night I managed to locate 4 or five friends of mine. I consider it a little like spying on someone. I'm no hacker of any degree- I know there are better ways to really invade people's privacy, but I like to use what's available out there to play this game. If you haven't done much on the web then you probably won't pop up on the radar. So far I haven't been able to find anything on myself, but my name is the reason for that. I've found things that my father has written but nothing too interesting. i'm going to keep looking.

give it a try.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

end of the world?

A long time ago this kid I knew at school told me that the world was going to end at precisely 4:13 that Thursday afternoon. Kids have a way of being so sure of themselves. I asked where he found out this information (thinking that it would be news by now) and he said that his brother told him. Assuming that his brother was credible on the subject of the world blowing up or ending we all told him that he was full of crap. The day went by but I couldn't help but think about the impending doom that awaited us all at 4:13 that Thursday. Life continued as usual until that point, and then it was Thursday.

I had just come home from school, when I noticed the note I had left for myself on the refrigerator door that read, "end of the world, Thursday at 4:13." Determined to get a good seat, I stood there waiting by the edge of my bed staring into the digital face of my stereo alarm clock. The minutes seemed to creep by as the appointed hour emerged. My eyes began to water as the little green numbers slowly changed. I don't think I knew what was going to happen. Maybe I expected some sort of Hiroshima type flash followed by the destructive force of a nuclear weapon. I thought I should have gone out in a better way, maybe even doing something worthwhile while the end of the world erupted around me. No, I spent the last five minutes of planet earth staring an alarm clock radio ticking down my very existence. I don't know what happened next but I looked back at the clock and it read 4:16. I had missed the terrible end.
and what was worse is that I wasted my time looking at a clock when I could have been watching "eek the cat" or something else on television. Man, that kid was full of crap.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

this is a blog

i am going to start something else.