Friday, October 31, 2008

ha


I'm sure if I was unemployed and sat by a small space heater, I would have more time to blog about ninja turtles and feminine emo hairstyles. It only makes sense. 

All I can say is congratulations to dan. When he gets hit by a car tomorrow, I'm sure Jesus will be happy he spent his time wisely here on earth. 


"did you really make out with a fish?"

lol! 

hmm..

Response to John Locke’s “The Second Treatise of Government”

 John Locke’s analysis of government stands as one of the foundations of Western government. In his Second Treatise of Government he attempts to explain how humans govern themselves based on all of the different variables that God has beset upon mankind. Locke divides his Treatise in explanation of the different states and the rules that govern them. His views of government, laws, and punishment attempt to create a universal understanding from which he builds his thesis upon.  
 The State of Nature is universal and all men find themselves within, to a certain degree, this state. Right and wrong are concepts that are designed by the general consensus of the community. Each person’s voice is important in shaping the consensus to an acceptable degree, for the general good of all society. Locke explains that no man can harm another’s life, health, liberty without consequence from the community. The community has the right to punish and men can be restrained and punished. The State of Nature allows for punishment up to the penalty of death for any offence. Locke explains that this state only applies to each community individually, and that foreigners cannot be governed by the legislative authority of one group. The State of Nature is the lowest base for Locke’s analysis of government, and shows that it is up the people to judge for themselves what must be done. 
 On the subject of War Locke explains that it is the power to take away the life of those that threaten, and that specific power extends to those that are allied with your enemies. The state of war is a concept that also applies to those that would oppress, cases of absolute power over another individual automatically places them both in a state of War until one side either gives up or relents to that authority. Under War it is permissible to kill in order to defend property, life, and concepts of liberty or freedom in order to maintain self-preservation against absolute authority. Comparing the state of Nature and war, Locke explains that in nature both sides will continue to fight in a state of war until one side is inevitably defeated, or peace is reached. 
 Men are free, equal and independent. Men are able to escape the State of Nature by entering into society. Locke analyzes throughout his treaty all of the different variables that allow mankind to manage their rights as individuals, parts of a community, and as participants in the greater government. It becomes complicated as Locke demonstrates that the powers that rule society are derived from the individual and community’s entrance into society, leaving the State of Nature behind. Men can determine what rules are established and to what extent powers are delegated to the legislative orders of government. Locke’s continual examination of motives, and concepts of justice and morals show how he believes how people should manage to get along with each other. 
 Locke’s Second Treatise of Government is an experiment of the innumerable possibilities of the human community. God given rights of freedom, life, property, and equality are the foundations for what Locke believed would equate to a reasonable society. Locke attempts to explain how communities react against each other and how those relationships can make or break society itself. Based on what was written, Locke was well versed in the monarchies and republics of the past, and from that knowledge he developed his own theories on why governments function the way they do. 

the end.

Dan sits down to pee. 

blog

My internet is slow enough, and now that I have word verification I'm going to have to work faster. 

This blog war has taught me a few things:

  1. I can honestly pick any random thing, google it, and then write a brief summary on the subject. 
  2. My typing skills have improved considerably since I began writing so many blogs
  3. If dan is compelled he will do anything. I wonder what that means?
  4. Garit is the butt of all jokes. No matter what. 
  5. I can seemingly get through my work day faster by just blogging. 
  6. No subject is unsuitable for a blog. 
  7. A lot more people read my blog that I previously thought. 
  8. A rude picture is worth a thousand words. 
  9. I should have spent more time studying
  10. Blogging helps me get A's on art tests. 

I think that's it. 

word verification

Holy crap. 

Hey dan! 

At the bottom of your post do you have the word verification?! 

it says:

Type the characters you see in the picture above. 

If you make a large number of posts in a single day, you will be required to complete word verification. After 24 hours, the word verification will automatically be removed. 

are you kidding me? 

Is this to stop us from blogging till the world explodes?! 

this is against my rights!

late night tv

Late night infomercials. 

Weight loss. Blenders. Election stuff. Nutritional secrets. Get flat abs now!!

Do people really buy into this stuff? Is there that much of a demographic: Late night insomniacs with credit cards? 

I thought the magic bullet commercials were cool until that weird lady with the cigarette in her bathrobe showed up. It totally ruined it for me. I've even stood at Bed Bath and Beyond looking at that stupid blender thinking... "Do I really need this?"

suck it

DeathCab for Cutie is on Jay Leno tonight. And boy do they suck. I'm not sure if its the lame attempts at vocalization or the supid lyrics themselves. I mean, how can you actually produce music that is so terrible and get on television? I'm sure they practice all the time in the mirror so they can get their head bobbing and dance moves timed perfectly. If the singer had any sense, he'd go back to shelving books or serving coffee or whatever he did before he thought he was writing good music. I was kinda hoping Leno would stop them mid song and ask them to leave, but that didn't happen. I hope their van explodes in a fiery wreck and no one can identify they bodies. 

I'm sure like 2 people were happy to watch that. They were probably up way past their bedtimes anyway. 

first love

Ah... Siamese Dream. I keep coming back to you every time. I don't know what it is, the beginning of the song "Rocket" or the chorus of "Cherub Rock"? I think you symbolize a time when before Billy Corgan went crazy, or before that touring keyboard player overdosed and died. Smashing pumpkins was different back then. It wasn't this overbearing, electronica weird crap that finally did you in. I know most of the album is one big guitar overdub, and that's ok. The big muff distortion really screams alternative youth! Siamese Dream, you will always be in my top ten. 

birth by science.


Test tube babies are among us. They are not humans, but replicated organisms that will one day rise against us. They can read our thoughts, and they poison our food. Test tube babies will stop at nothing until we all become part of the growing collective. Their twisted experiments will breed a new race of humans.... by the power of science!!

We must go back in time and stop this before it's too late!!

destiny


Garit. Are you trying to be like Macgyver? Can you make a hover_jector out of random parts and save the secret formula before the oil rig explodes? You are close, but there is one thing you still lack: A mullet of power. 

One day garit. one day. It is your destiny. 

Tie


Never lose a thing with this tie!

This is one of many useless Japanese inventions. I would probably buy this though. I could put my iPod in there and listen to music during church. 

fire safety

What is he using to extinguish the fire? Gasoline?! OMG!

flight 5


Flight 5 is out now. 

Flight is a collection of short stories by graphic artists. If you haven't seen it, I suggest going down to the book store and checking it out. Ok, I know it's in the graphic novel section next to all of those D&D gamer manuals, but you'll be ok. Just take it off the shelf and sit down and behold the artistic mastery. 

Previews of Flight 5 can be found here: http://www.flightcomics.com/flight5preview/

Take a peek. You won't be disappointed. 

wings of glory


Was man ever meant to fly? Had we been born with leathery wings, would we too fly into the setting sun. Was man's fascination with flight the result of so much conflict here on the ground. Indeed, the further Icarus flew, the farther he fell. 

When I look back from my escape module and see the blue earth below, I will not be sorry. Was it just a matter of time before we could build something to escape the pull of Earth's gravity? 

It will only be a matter of time before we wish we were back on solid ground. 

a new low


This is getting rediculous. I seriously just googled the phrase "Pregnant Gorilla"

I've hit new lows. 

free


Ben and Jerry's is giving away free ice cream on election day. At participating scoop shops, just show up and enjoy some. I don't think we have a ben and jerry's around here anymore? Am I wrong? I could be. 

I like Chunky Monkey, and what was it called? Irish Mudslide? I don't know. There's too much to choose from now a days. 

poo

Dan eats poo. 

old

old photos blog

These pictures are really really old. circa 2000. 

enjoy. 

200

Behold the glory and tremble. 

nerds


Garit rolls the dice. A 20!

Dan's kobold zombie is stunned

Dan rolls.  A 6!

Dan resisted the effects of poison and is granted another turn. 

Garit nervously surveys the game board. 

Dan rolls again! a 1o!

Alas poor Garit! You have lost all of your hitpoints. 

walk don't run


Where do you buy a Segway? I don't know when these things were invented, and I know that its a retarded invention, but where do you get one? Is there like a dealership? 

Segways are strange. I've never ridden one- but would like to give it a shot. Mark posted a funny youtube on his blog about a monkey riding one of these. It was funny, but still just a low quality blog.  Lol. 

I see Adam from Mythbusters riding around on his Segway in many segments of the program. Though I would expect him to, because he's a weird guy. One time I saw a dude at school weave in and out of people on his way to class on one of these. I think everyone thought he was a nerdy jackass. An then there's the campus police with (this is funny) flashing lights on their Segways. Those rent-a-cops deserve it!

Be afraid. Be very afraid. 

the movie results.


So the Indiana Jones movie was a little weird. The special effects were awesome, but gave me the impression that Indiana and his pals were invincible to falling debris, drowning, gunshots, and other perils. The ending was ok. I think the movie needed more nazis. Just my opinion. 

The idea that extraterrestrial have influenced past cultures has long been studied. Why did Indian groups make huge pictures that could only be seen from above? What technology allowed them to produce such incredible feats of architecture?

I'm not sure if that was the best way to end the Indiana Jones series. It was cool, but then again, I wasn't really paying attention because I've been blogging non-stop. Dan is a little girl. Nat fell asleep within the first 15 minutes of the movie, and I'm not surprised. She's been working really hard, and had to put together a huge Halloween party for her 5th grade class. 

New studies with the Iceman


Today on NPR's Science Friday, They talked about new DNA research in the 5,000 year old "Iceman" that was found in the Alps in 1991.

"When Tyrolean Iceman was defrosted in 2000, researchers took some DNA from his intestines and sequenced it. But that was only his nuclear DNA, inherited from both parents, and it revealed that he was related to a large group of Europeans who share a common ancestor. The new study, which will be published November 11 in Current Biology, allowed researchers to examine the mummy's lineage in more detail. And that's when they realized how different he was from modern populations."

Said Franco Rollo, a co-author of the study:

We have obtained evidence of a significant genetic difference between present-day Europeans and a representative prehistoric human—despite the fact that the Iceman is not so old—just about 5,000 years. This doesn't simply mean that Ötzi had some 'personal' mutations making him different from the others but that, in the past, there was a group—a branch of the phylogenetic tree—of men and women sharing the same mitochondrial DNA. Apparently, this genetic group is no longer present. We don't know whether it is extinct or it has become extremely rare.

What this reveals is that even large groups of genetically similar people can completely disappear from the gene pool in a relatively short time

Study of the ancient man will continue, and as technology progresses, we will learn more about this Iceman. 

tracks!

The recent find of Dinosaur tracks along the Utah/Arizona border has researchers in awe. Over one thousand tracks have been found in a single area. 

"There must have been more than one kind of dinosaur there," said researcher Marjorie Chan, professor and chair of geology and geophysics at the University of Utah. "It was a place that attracted a crowd, kind of like a dance floor." 

Geologist Winston Seiler with some of the dinosaur tracks in northern Arizona, which are so abundant that the researchers refer to the site as a "dinosaur dance floor." 

While the site is covered in sand dunes now, the researchers say the tracks are within what was a network of wet, low watering holes between the dunes. In fact, the tracks provide more evidence of wet intervals during the Early Jurassic Period, when the U.S. Southwest was covered with a field of sand dunes larger than the Sahara Desert.

Study of the find will help Paleontologists to gain a better understanding of the dinosaurs that once lived there. 

A scientist that almost looks like garit. If he would have gone to school. 

nintendo PSA


As a public service announcement, I thought I would let everyone know that you can play your favorite NES games from the comfort of your favorite browser. 

Google NesCafe and you won't be disappointed.

pirates!


Dan is a Somali Pirate. He is holding a ship for ransom and won't rest until he is paid. And if he doesn't get the money soon, he will blow the whole boat up dammit! 

United Nations have sent warships to surround the boat, and a coalition of Navy ships have been alerted and are heading to the Horn of Africa. Helicopters have been buzzing over the the deck of the ship where Dan and his fellow pirates have been holed up for weeks. 

Dan won't take no for an answer. He's aleady killed the captain and he's willing to kill more if the ransom is not paid. 

It's only a matter of time Dan. 

facial hair


My other brother Kevin just got a job at Best Buy. He has a pretty cool gig going there. He does have to wear a pink shirt though (to support breast cancer awareness, which I'm sure he'll get if he doesn't stop wearing pink. It's science people!!). On top of the good pay, he gets outrageous discounts on all of the merchandise. I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin just buys a ton of expensive electronics and quits. I don't think the job will change him... nope. 

He's been growing a beard. He said that during the month of October (also known as "Choptober") everyone in the store grew outrageous sideburns. November will be known as "Neckvember" where all the male (and I guess female, if they can) employees will grow neck beards of incredible proportions. 

As my soul patch continues to catch more flavor, I give praise to Kevin in all his endeavours. I just hope that they switch back to the blue shirts sometime soon. 

birthday


Today is my little brother's birthday. Even though he will never read this blog (because he is young and illiterate) I would just like to say happy 12th birthday. I hope you got some books to read.

I always thought it was cool that his birthday was on Halloween. My friends though it would empower him with some sort of satanic power, but that never happened. He says that it kinda sucks that his birthday is shared with a holiday, but he doesn't really care. 

Halloween 08

Well the trick or treaters have stopped knocking on our door. As suspected, my dog went crazy. We should teach her how to do back flips. I'm sure she would be good at it. It was raining by the time I got home, so I'm sure Halloween wasn't as cool as it could have been. Regardless, I have a bowl full of candy and that's ok with me. 

Nat rented the latest installment of Indiana Jones. I still haven't watched it, and I guess I'm not paying that much attention to it, because of this lame blog war thing. I think the movie is pretty good (for a sequel). I mean, can you really expect it to be the best thing ever? Probably not. 

Some of the costumes this year

Star wars storm troopers. (you know their geek parents put them up to it)

Pirates

Ninjas

Princesses

Animals: Horses, Alligators, bats, and other funky costumes. 

I remember going trick or treating with crappy costumes that my mom made me.  I never had a fancy costume or anything... it was usually a weird t-shirt and some fake blood. I think I was a zombie 2 or 3 years in a row. Heh. My huge stash of candy would be eaten within a week of Halloween. No wonder I had so many cavities. 

Geico Caveman


"Remind Me" by Röyksopp is the song that is played in the background of the Geico Caveman commercial at the airport. 

Just in case you were wondering Dan. 

ddr

There are many different animals in the world. Some big, some small. Biologist study their migration patterns, and mating rituals. But nothing could have prepared them for this discovery. 

The fat sweaty dude that plays Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade. 

His dance moves are complex and surprising, given his massive girth. The sweat is pouring down his face and fogging up his glasses, making the colored arrows difficult to determine. He struggles for breath, but knows his personal high score is finally within reach. 

He is a rare animal indeed. 

its all the same

restroom


I'm not sure how many times a human being can go to the bathroom. I'm sure if you have IBS or a urinary infection that you would have to go to the bathroom all the time. The girl I work with goes to the bathroom all the time, leaving me to do most of the work around the office. Every 5 minutes I see her trucking over to the restroom and disappearing for long periods of time. I wouldn't be bothered that much, but she always announces it like "Ooohh...I have to pee so bad!" or "I need to go the bathroom, is that ok?" Are you 3 years old?

For crying out loud, just go relieve yourself before you pee all over the place. No one freaking cares! I can't stand it. 

One day, I kept tally of all her bathroom breaks. It's all I did all day long. She went to the bathroom 14 times. Are you kidding me? She must have a medical condition. 

A Wrinkle in Time


A Wrinkle in Time by Madeliene Le'Engle. 

One of my favorite books growing up. The thought of being able to travel through time and space by the power of thought and science was interesting to me. I've read the book many many times, and still find that each of the characters have many dimensions as the book progresses. Meg, the protagonist, struggles to fit in and conform to the world around her. Her younger brother Charles Wallace is a child prodigy, so smart that he too is often misunderstood. As they travel through space to find their lost father, they reach the planet Camazotz. There they face one of the coolest adversaries in children's literature: IT. 

body world


The Body World exhibit is up there in Salt Lake. While many people have said how they love the exhibit, and the beauty of the human body, I'm not interested.  I think it's kinda gross. I mean they were once living people, that now, through the process of plastination are posed and displayed for everyone. 

I'm sure anatomy students love it. My sister is certified whatever and she's been to exhibits like this down in Las Vegas.  We've never been able to look at the human body this way before, and it kinda freaks me out. 

I see the educational value. Viewing cancer, for example, gives a better look at visualizing what it does to the body. Seeing organs in this state can really help someone understand the functions of the body. The body is beautiful isn't it? 

I would be too concerned with the people themselves. Did they have pets? Mortgages? Drug problems? Family? What did they see and do? 

That's why I won't go. 

dr. seuss?!


Dr. Seuss. Children's author, and snappy poet. His drawings are unique, and his style is unforgettable. Many people don't know that beyond his children's books he also drew many political cartoons during the Second World War.  His symbolic characters really were powerful in describing the events of the time. 

costco


Costco.

Where everything is available at your fingertips.  Where else can you find a massive jar of mayo or bulk boxes of granola bars next to treadmills or dvds? 

The very nature of the store makes me want to buy more and more. Am I really saving that much? I guess so, but it seems a little strange to me. I think it encourages folks to buy more and more of stuff they don't need. 

Obesity!!

But the real secret about Costco is the Churros! 

Yum!

$20


What would you do if you found a $20 bill? What could you spend it on? Lunch?

A DI spending spree:

5 ties. 

a pair of shoes and some pants

A bike and a Bill Cosby sweater. 

What could you buy with 20 dollars? 

Comic books!

A bag of new socks!!

A glowing green rock? 

borderlands politics.

Some boring blogs, that's for sure.

In my research of the Borderlands I was surprised by the rigorous protocol used by the Spanish government during this period. Expeditions and explorations had to be officially sanctioned, and the proper forms and documents must have been obtained before venturing onto the frontier. Very different from what was going on in the Eastern US with the English colonists.

The English colonists did whatever they wanted, pushing westward without so much of a thought. The Spanish on the other hand operated under tighter restrictions. I don't know the exact reason, but my hypothesis is that official requests were issued in order to divide the plunder properly. Making a name for yourself in the new Spanish frontier seems almost as important as the Roman Cursus. With commendations, land, and inheritance for your family at stake, I'm sure it was really important to get the proper authorization. 
What's great is that many of these documents still exist today, giving the reader a glimpse into the possible reasons for an expedition. 
Standard equipment for a trip included soldiers, merchants, priests, converted Indians, translators, and lots of animals. Horses, mules, steer, dogs, sheep, goats.... it was a circus. Getting these expeditions off the ground was a difficult procedure. 

war

The war customs of the Northern Cheyenne are symbolic and necessary for each warrior facing possible death while in battle. 
The Northern Cheyenne would prepare carefully for each battle. Special attention was made to the clothes of each warrior. Each would dress in his best clothes for preparation to meet the Great Spirit should he fall in battle. Special paint was applied to the body, and dance ceremonies were held to ensure protection during the fight. The Cheyenne would actually avoid a fight if these dressing procedures were not met. It was not a show of cowardice, but a sign of respect if they were to be called from this life to meet the Great Spirit. 
These special clothes were often taken with them while on hunts, or away from the tribal group. Should the Cheyenne be surprised by the enemy, they would still take preparations to present themselves better before the Great Spirit if anything should happen. 
This completely contradicts the 1950's Western idea that the plains Indians were bloodthirsty, dirty people, who robbed from pioneers and burned down forts for the sake of fighting. From what I've read, the utmost attention was paid to each article of clothing for the Cheyenne warrior. 
What would it be like for the white man? Riding into battle wearing a suit, or tuxedo? When we meet our maker, what will we be wearing? Would we be as prepared? 

next SNL

John McCain is scheduled to make an appearance on SNL this weekend. Let's hope it does him some good. I think it will. He's always been kinda funny. I've seen him do some stuff before on tv, so I wouldn't be surprised if SNL helps him attract that hip youngster vote. 

Didn't he host the show once? I don't even know. There are rumors that Mr. Obama will also be on the show. That would be cool. 
SNL is grabbing more viewers because of this election, and with the way things are going, I'm sure people will watch just to see what happens. 

lame sci-fi

Terrible movies on the Sci-Fi channel. Never watch this movie!


Aztec REX!!

Lets be honest here. What would possess a director to make such a piece of crap? How does someone wake up one morning and say, "Yep. I've got an idea. Its gots dinosaurs, and Aztecs!"
The synopsis: The story follows a fictional journey of a small group of 16th century conquistadores led by Hernán Cortés who encounter a tribe of Aztecs who worship a pair of living Tyrannosaurus rex.
Terrible blue screen effects make the realism unbearable. 
Garit. Rent this. I dare you. Come on. It will look great in HD. Do it!

plants

Nat has a couple of plants in her classroom- A big leafy look palm and another plant that has a lot of fronds, and leaves.
The big broad leaf palmy one's leaves are turning yellowish, and cracking. My guess is that it needs to be closer to a light source, or in a bigger pot. Would that fix the problem? I've never really dealt with plants before. 
The other plant just sits there and seems to be doing just fine. 
They both get watered just fine, I'm sure. Her class takes care of them, but it just bugs me that one of the plants isn't doing that well. 
What the heck?!

Favorite Satellite in our Solar System

Take a moment and think about it. When was the last time you thought about your favorite satellite in the Solar System?

Phobos.



Some facts about Phobos:
One of two sattelites that orbit mars, Phobos is an irregular moon. Phobos is one of the least-reflective bodies in the solar system. Spectroscopically it appears to be similar to the D-type asteroids. Because of its shape alone, the gravity on its surface varies by about 210%; the tidal forces raised by Mars more than double this variation (to about 450%) because they compensate for a little more than half of Phobos' gravity at its sub- and anti-Mars poles.
Phobos is heavily cratered. The most prominent surface feature is Stickney Crater. The impact that created Stickney must have almost shattered Phobos, and many grooves and streaks also cover the oddly shaped surface. The grooves are typically less than 30 m deep, 100 to 200 m wide, and up to 20 km in length, and were originally assumed to have been the result of the same impact that created Stickney.



An image (in false color) of Stickney Crater.

superpower

The need for superpowers. I don't watch Heroes, but I know the idea. Blah blah blah... people have powers and they used them against each other. I know that superheroes are supposed to protect society with their abilities, but why does that make them beat the crap out of each other?

Hello. My name is Mr. Stevens. I have the power of conflict resolution and can audit taxes with the power of 100 accountants. 

What would be my power?

I like the idea of flying because that would cut on travel time, but I could see myself getting hit by birds, or bugs.
I would like telepathy. I could read people's minds and use that information to become world's most obnoxious paparazzi. 

baroque

We've reached the Baroque period in my art history class. Probably my favorite period after the High Renaissance. I like realistic art. Being able to accurately portray the emotion of the human form in art is what both amazes me and eludes my talent as an artist.


Bernini's sculpture is unbelievable. 

I'm looking forward to the new Angels and Demons movie. The setting of which (in case you've been living under a rock for the last few years) is Vatican City. Many of the famous landmarks mentioned in the book were completed during the Baroque period. 

green

Some things require no explanation because they are so awesome. I present such an invention. In an effort to go green, this handy device recycles water used for cleaning your clothes as toilet water. You can rid your guilty conscience every time you wash your clothes or flush the toilet. Think of all those gallons of water that just get wasted down the drain. You can finally sleep easy.

oil prices

Gas prices continue to slide downhill.

"At the pump, a gallon of regular gasoline fell another 4.3 cents overnight to a new national average of $2.504, according to auto club AAA, the Oil Price Information Service and Wright Express. Gas now costs about half as much as it did on July 17, when prices hit a record $4.114 a gallon.

Prices closed at $100.64 a barrel on the last trading day in September. That gives oil the biggest monthly slide since the launch of the Nymex crude futures contract in 1983. The previous record was a 30 percent drop set in February 1986."

And then there was this tasty bit of information:

"Analysts believe oil price hawks like Venezuela and Iran need prices at near $100 a barrel to balance their national budgets, while Saudi Arabia and other members would like to see prices stabilize at around $80."

Those poor OPEC jerks.... They're going to cut production to help stabalize the prices.

I'm glad that record high prices this summer was able to fatten the wallets of someone:

"Altogether, Chevron, Exxon Mobil and their rivals BP, Royal Dutch Shell and ConocoPhillips posted earnings of $44.4 billion for the quarter, up 58 percent from the same time a year ago."

We're all a happy bunch of people.

catz



More breaking KSL News!

SLC CAT QUARANTINE!!

"(KSL News) People looking to adopt a cat in Salt Lake County will have to wait a couple of weeks. The Deseret News is reporting a cat virus known as feline distemper has affected several cats in county kennels. Salt Lake County Animal Services set up a quarantine in the kennels, and is prohibiting adoptions to the public for the next two weeks. Animal Services officials say the outbreak is a result of improper vaccination, and the quarantine is just a preventative measure."

Is there any real news in this State? I'm glad that we don't have serious problems like robot invasions or zombies, but really. Cat quarantines? Are some of them up a tree? We need some real news dangit!!!

Halloween



Greatest Halloween Song EVER:
"Halloween" by Ministry.

Was it the fake british accent? Or the catchy lyrics?

"Well any time, any place, anywhere that I go all the people seem to stop and stare they say 'Why are you dressed like it's Halloween? you look so absurd, you look so obscene'."



The remix version was unbearable.

stupid news

Wow KSL... Great investigative reporting. People are buying expired products off the shelves?! You could ask any 17 year old that works at Smith's or Macey's and they would tell you the same thing: "Yeah. Everything is pretty much expired."

When I worked at a grocery store we threw away expired stuff all the time. It was crazy the things that we would find on the shelves. Doing inventory one night we found a can of food that had expired back in 1998. It was 2004 at the time.

What really bugged me last night was the snipets they ran during the commercials:
"Do you really know what you're feeding your family? Find out tonight on KSL news!"
"The danger lurking on store shelves, a KSL investigation. Tonight!"
"Are you a terrible parent for feeding your children?! Find out on KSL News!"
"Our Investigation targets supermarkets, poisoning our families. Only on KSL!"

"Several of the products we purchased had passed their dates by weeks, months, even years. For example, we bought vitamins that expired in January of 2007, a bottle of vegetable oil that was dated September of last year, pasta that expired last December, and cereal that was two years old. We also found outdated prepackaged meats that were still for sale, including hot dogs that expired a month before we bought them. "

Who cares. If you can eat it, it will only make you stronger.

insane



I have a bad feeling about tonight. With all these kids ringing our doorbell for free loot, I think my dog will go insane. Whenever she hears the door bell, this instinct kicks in, supplying her tiny body with adrenaline and energy to make 30 laps around our front room. If running in circles wasn't enough for her brain to explode, she then attacks whoever is at the door (and by attacks, I mean she jumps all over people, she's a tiny little 7lb. dog, she isn't going to hurt anyone- seriously garit). For kicks, when my dog is asleep, I'll knock on the wall or something and she'll start barking and looking around for intruders... its hilarious.

I'm probably going to have to leash her to something sturdy, or corral her to the front porch thingy we have. My guess is that she'll knock over some little kid and then bury her face in their treat bags. Before they know it, she'll have eaten all their candy. Ha ha.



I'm not sure how many kids will knock on our door, I don't remember if Halloween was a big deal last year. I'm probably going to eat all the candy anyway.

evil twin

I didn't dress up for Halloween at work. Yes. I was the only one. Now instead of people asking me what I'm supposed to be, they ask why I didn't dress up instead. I don't need this.


I dressed up as my evil twin. That's right. I look exactly like myself, but I'm not myself. I'm my evil twin. I'm exactly alike in every way to my good twin, except that I'm bad.


I think there is an evil twin of myself somewhere in the world, and when we eventually meet someday, we will be forced into a life or death struggle. Or am I just fooling myself? Am I the evil one? Will I come face to face with my good twin? That know-it-all.. I'm going to get rid of him once and for all!!

Bleh.

I should have dress up as a hobbit. I should've bought some big ol' rubber feet and a curly hair wig. Oh well. Next year will be better.

construction

Road construction around my house make commuting through Lehi even more frustrating. Though I was happy to see a backhoe tracker tearing out the concrete median that they had installed at the intersection about a year ago. The little median was installed to keep cars from either direction from hitting each other, or to define the turning lanes into Smiths and McDonald's. What the median actually did was let cars bottom out and get high-centered on it. The little yellow plastic signs they installed to keep people from driving up the medians lasted about a week each time. I drove past one snowy morning and saw a frustrated dude yelling on his cellphone inside a Honda civic that was now high-centered. That sucked.

Even though I knew the median was there, I still found myself creeping towards it after a long day at school, or coming home from work at night. It scared the crap out of me. I'm not sure what they are going to do with that intersection when they expand the road to a 5 lane highway, but I hope they don't reinstall those dangerous medians.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

ugh


I hate Jeff Gordon. Let me start by saying I am not a fan of NASCAR. I don't watch the races, I don't even follow it, but I still hate Jeff Gordon. 

I think it began with a NASCAR video game a long long time ago. I would usually start the race by letting the rest of the pack drive ahead, while I drove the wrong way in order to cause the biggest driving catastrophe in NASCAR history. For some odd reason, Gordon's rainbow car was always my first victim. I hated his car, and wanted to destroy it as soon as possible. 

This hatred lingers on to this day. If I flip through the channels and see that a race is on, I check the standings to make sure that Jeff Gordon isn't winning, or better yet, not racing because of a terrible accident. 

beverages of the past


When I remember Ponce, I think of one beverage: Malta.

Popular throughout the Caribbean, Malta is brewed from malted barley and hops and is non-alcoholic. Nothing quenches the thirst better! I could drink two at a time. Yes, the taste takes some getting used to, and it lacks the buzz of other beverages, but a good Malta can bring the heat down ten degrees or more. 

Pull up a folding chair, and sit back and relax. Grab a Malta and get ready, because these dominoes aren't going to play themselves. 

singers?

So bands with new lead singers... I hate it. Why? Why not just form an entirely different band, under a new name? When you change lead singers... it isn't the same. Sometimes people die, people get kicked out of the band, or for whatever reason the singer leaves the band. 

Guilty: Most 70's rock bands fall into this category. 

Led Zeppelin. They're going to tour without Robert Plant. Really? Does that even make sense? 

Queen: Who is that guy? He isn't Freddie Mercury. Is he even gay?

Van Halen: I don't even know what you are. 

Journey: You guys stopped believin' in your singer. Now my grandma won't even listen to your records anymore. 

INXS: Dang. You guys went on a TV reality show for a new singer. That's like digging up Micheal Hutchence's grave and saying thanks for hangin' yourself, we've hired a kid for a karaoke tour show. 

Alice in Chains: New singer huh? Do you think Kurt would've wanted the guys to continue the band without him? no. So why continue forward? 

Who listens to any of these bands anyway? Bleh. 

smoke break

It was a different race back then. Lance could use a smoke.