I set my ipod to shuffle, and I'm surprised to hear the results. I'll usually listen to random stuff until I hear something that I like. This time it was Yes. Progressive rock. Freaking awesome.
Been drawing some doodles that I probably will never scan in, but they look very Hanna Barbera-esque. I like the cartoony way that those old characters from the 1960's looked.
Now in all seriousness:
I wrote this blog entry on Feb. 04 but I didn't have the guts to post it.
"I feel like I should be writing music... but my guitar is in a million pieces. I have great ideas, but I can never seem to find enough time to act on them.
Its really hard to explain how weird I feel sometimes. I have a hard time focusing. It feels like I'm being torn in many directions and I can't dedicate enough time to one thing at a time. Or when I do find a way to focus on something, it becomes my focus for days. When I start something I rarely finish. I have four or five books on my desk that I've started or plan to start and I can't do it. I just can't do it.
I lose track of time too. I can be watching tv or trying to fix something in my office and before I know it three or four hours have flown by without anything to show for it. I feel like I'm losing to the clock. Days are going by too fast and time itself is something that I can't seem to hold on to. And for some reason, last year it seemed like it was getting worse.
I wonder how long it will take me to put my guitar back together?"
Its really hard to explain how weird I feel sometimes. I have a hard time focusing. It feels like I'm being torn in many directions and I can't dedicate enough time to one thing at a time. Or when I do find a way to focus on something, it becomes my focus for days. When I start something I rarely finish. I have four or five books on my desk that I've started or plan to start and I can't do it. I just can't do it.
I lose track of time too. I can be watching tv or trying to fix something in my office and before I know it three or four hours have flown by without anything to show for it. I feel like I'm losing to the clock. Days are going by too fast and time itself is something that I can't seem to hold on to. And for some reason, last year it seemed like it was getting worse.
I wonder how long it will take me to put my guitar back together?"
Tomorrow I'm going to see someone about (what I suspect to be) ADD. I've looked at the symptoms and I've been in denial... saying "This is how I've always been" or "I don't want them to change me." or whatever. I've struggled with really weird things all of my life, and while some may blame laziness, or fears, or other things... I think something else might be going on here. I feel like I need help, and my wife has urged me to do this. I honestly haven't really thought about it, I kinda want to just show up so I don't over-think this.
2 comments:
I'm all for getting things figured out with the doctor. Good luck. I have a friend who was diagnosed with ADD recently. She got some pills and she says she feels more like herself than she has her whole life. Anyway. Cool.
Plus, private blog eh? Cool.
Let's make a pie when I come home for conference. I guess I'm pretty good at it. They taste good.
I dont know anything about ADD.. never looked at symptoms or anything.. but ive been sick since bolivia and i completely feel like im losing my mind. i take the wrong freeway exits all the damn time. really bothers. me.
anyway.. good luck on your quest. and dont go to bolivia to find your answers.
Post a Comment